The Prime Minister, David Cameron, has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week, all the forms will be printed in English
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> >A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
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> >I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.
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> >I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin...
> > 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it... I thought to myself, these buggers have lost the plot!!
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> >I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
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> >A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said....
> >'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
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> >My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
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> >Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
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> >My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> >She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her some bathroom scales.
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> >I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
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> > I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
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> >I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’.
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> >On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?'
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> >A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
>
> >
>
> >I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.
>
> >
> >I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin...
> > 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it... I thought to myself, these buggers have lost the plot!!
>
> >
>
> >I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
>
> >
>
> >A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said....
> >'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
>
> >
>
> >My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
>
> >
>
> >Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
>
> >
>
> >My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> >She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her some bathroom scales.
>
> >
>
> >I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
>
> >
>
>
>
> >
>
> > I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
>
> >
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>
> >
>
> >I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’.
>
> >
>
>
> >On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?'
Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:01 pm by Brandykins
» Despatches - Undercover Designer Dogs
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