====================
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a
call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting
to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us!
====================
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and
gave us a 20% discount....
They Walk Among Us!
====================
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky
all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to
visit the big city.
In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and
looks in it.
Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at
the image staring back at him, "How about that!
Here's a picture of my daddy."
He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he
remembered his wife, didn't like his father, so he
hung it in the barn, and every morning before
leaving for the fields, he would go there and look
at it.
His battle-axe wife began to get suspicious of these many
trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left for the field, she searched
the barn and found the mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed,
"So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with."
Yes, They Walk Among Us!
An old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the
desk. The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor
for today?"
"There's something wrong with my willy," he replied.
The receptionist was ermbarrased and whispered to him , "You
shouldn't come into a crowded room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied; " You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something like that and then discussed your problem
further with the
Doctor in private."
The man walked out of the room visibly annoyed. He waited a few
minutes in the
corridor and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he said.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
Mess with seniors and you've had it !
They walk among us
Traffic Camera
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..
You can't fix stupid.
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a
call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting
to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us!
====================
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and
gave us a 20% discount....
They Walk Among Us!
====================
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky
all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to
visit the big city.
In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and
looks in it.
Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at
the image staring back at him, "How about that!
Here's a picture of my daddy."
He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he
remembered his wife, didn't like his father, so he
hung it in the barn, and every morning before
leaving for the fields, he would go there and look
at it.
His battle-axe wife began to get suspicious of these many
trips to the barn.
One day after her husband left for the field, she searched
the barn and found the mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed,
"So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with."
Yes, They Walk Among Us!
An old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the
desk. The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor
for today?"
"There's something wrong with my willy," he replied.
The receptionist was ermbarrased and whispered to him , "You
shouldn't come into a crowded room and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied; " You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something like that and then discussed your problem
further with the
Doctor in private."
The man walked out of the room visibly annoyed. He waited a few
minutes in the
corridor and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he said.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?
"I can't piss out of it," he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter.
Mess with seniors and you've had it !
They walk among us
Traffic Camera
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..
You can't fix stupid.
Thu Mar 28, 2013 8:01 pm by Brandykins
» Despatches - Undercover Designer Dogs
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