Scottish Temperatures
(Degrees Fahrenheit.)
50 degrees
New Yorkers turn on the heat.
People in Scotland plant gardens.
40 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees
Italian cars won't start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
20 degrees
Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees
Californians begin evacuation.
People in Scotland go swimming.
Zero degrees
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Scotland have the last BBQ before it gets cold.
10 degrees below zero
People in Miami cease to exist.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
20 degrees below zero
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
80 degrees below zero
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
100 degrees below zero
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.
173 degrees below zero
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
297 degrees below zero
Microbial life start to disappear.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 degrees below zero
All atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"
500 degrees below zero
Hell freezes over.
Aberdeen win the Scottish Cup.
(Degrees Fahrenheit.)
50 degrees
New Yorkers turn on the heat.
People in Scotland plant gardens.
40 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees
Italian cars won't start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
20 degrees
Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees
Californians begin evacuation.
People in Scotland go swimming.
Zero degrees
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Scotland have the last BBQ before it gets cold.
10 degrees below zero
People in Miami cease to exist.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
20 degrees below zero
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
80 degrees below zero
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
100 degrees below zero
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.
173 degrees below zero
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
297 degrees below zero
Microbial life start to disappear.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 degrees below zero
All atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"
500 degrees below zero
Hell freezes over.
Aberdeen win the Scottish Cup.
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