Letters sent by tenants to councils and housing associations throughout the UK

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt
my knob off.

2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage

3. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my
fence.

4. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet
roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

5. My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand?

6. I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the
wall.

7. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are
getting married in September
and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house

8. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

9. Can you please tell me when the repairs will be done as my wife is
about to become an expectant mother.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest
are plain filthy.

11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water. It is a funny
colour and not fit to drink.

14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning
at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.

17. Out kitchen floor is damp. We have 2 children and would like a
third so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do somehting about the noise made by the man I have on top of me
every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy
my wife.

20. I have had a clerk of works down on the floor 6 times but I still
have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we
can't get BBC2.

22. My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage
has fungus growing on it.

23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore

brill been gigling like mad.